A Legacy of Service
by Havoc
Summary: Or five things Jai will lie about, if asked. Set during season one and inspired by an interview with Sendil R. in which he said he didn't think Jai had scruples. I'm assuming that's a learned behavior. (This story is continued in "Off Book" and "Blowback."
1. Jai Was There When Ben Met Annie

**Jai was there when Ben met Annie**

It wasn't like Ben Mercer had been easy to handle, right up until the moment he wasn't. No, he had always been a loose cannon, making handling him an intricate dance between staying out of sight and staying close enough to know what was going on with him. All of which meant that Jai had been in the bar, nursing a beer and watching, when Mercer had first met Annie. He sighed when he realized that, once again, Mercer had picked up the hottest blond in the place.

Jai could hear just enough of her voice to identify her for American, although he was amazed to hear her speak to the bartender and realize she had enough Sinhalese to get along. From his spot in the back of the room, Jai watched as Mercer flirted like the expert he was. The girl laughed at all the right lines, leaned in at all the right times, and overall looked pretty thoroughly charmed. All in all, Mercer was putting on a hell of a performance for what Jai thought looked like a pretty easy tumble. Still, he supposed she was worth the work, if only for that smile. When Mercer led her out of the bar, so many drinks later, Jai just rolled his eyes, finished his beer, and gave up any plans of Mercer doing any more work that evening. Just as well, really. Jai had reports to file.

Jai had fully expected that night to be the end of things. Annie was not the first hot blond in a bar. She wasn't even the third. Mercer would blow off some steam and the blond would be out the door before the sun finished rising. Things would be the same as they were ever were.

But the blond wasn't out the door. Not until nearly noon, and then it was hand in hand with Mercer, catching lunch at some little street café. Mercer was still working her like an asset; the charm ramped up to 10. The question wasn't so much "what did he see in her?" because that was glaringly obvious, even more so in the light of day, but "what was he doing and why?" He couldn't possibly be telling her any kind of the truth, this wasn't his first rodeo, but why even bother to go to this much effort? There would always be another hot blond in a bar. Mercer had a type, and she fit it, but he had a pattern, too, and this was breaking it.

At first, it wasn't really a problem. Mercer worked around the girl, prying her loose so he could cultivate an asset or pass information to Jai. Mercer was pretty tight lipped about the girl, but Jai now knew her name was Annie Walker, she wanted to travel the world on her terms, and she had a real knack for languages. Jai wished he could tell if Mercer was deliberately withholding information or if he truly knew that little about her. It wasn't impossible; the two of them had clearly found much better ways to spend their time than talking. Still, the work continued, in fits and starts, Mercer's spy craft seemingly not hampered by his new infatuation.

It was Mercer's idea for the next information pass to be in the stalls at the market, while he and Annie Walker went shopping. Jai was pretty sure he had heard every joke ever made about women and shopping, and even he thought that Mercer's idea was a stretch. No one could possibly be that distracted by bargaining for some new knick-knack. Still, there she was, chatting casually with a shopkeeper at a stall not 20 feet away while Mercer drifted over to where Jai stood, lazily flipping through a collection of sunglasses.

"Just tell me, really, Mercer. What are you doing with her? Why here? Why now?" Jai was beyond trying to hide his disapproval. This had disaster written all over it.

"She's good for my cover," Mercer insisted as Jai tried to minimize his disbelieving stare, the bustle of the crowded shopping center covering their voices.

"Why, because you're too busy rolling around with her to do your job?"

"I'm doing the job, Wilcox. I always do the job. No matter how you think I do it, the job gets done, it always gets done."

There was something in Mercer's voice, just an edge of something, the thinnest line, but it was enough to get Jai to narrow his eyes. "What's up with you, man?"

"What? I like a girl and that has to mean there's something wrong?"

"I thought you said she good for your cover."

"She is."

"There's something you're not telling me."

"C'mon, Jai, you know me. I always tell you everything." Mercer's familiar, joking smile; he could always lie with the best of them.

Jai gave him a hard stare, but Mercer met it without flinching. "I tell you everything, man. Case in point," he added, grabbing Jai's hand and shoving the thumb drive in it. "She makes me look good. Now back the hell off."

Annie took the moment to toss a glance back at Mercer, and smile that smile as Jai ducked out of sight. Mercer went trotting back to her, showing off two pairs of new sunglasses, laughing with her as he slid an arm around her waist and drew her off into the crowd, the two of them making their own space around each other, the better to lock out the rest of the world.

Even then, Jai realized, he had known something was off. Mercer's voice, the way he had immediately pulled Annie to him, the way he seemed to be speaking almost urgently as they disappeared together into the crowd. All he could think of as the days passed and Jai realized Mercer had given him the slip, was that he should have gone after them. He should have believed in that voice he had heard in his head, the one that said that something was changing, between Mercer and Annie, between Mercer and Jai. But he had trusted Mercer to at least do the damn job. If someone had asked Jai, before Mercer met Annie Walker, if he had ever thought that anything could distract Ben Mercer from the job at hand, Jai would have said no. He had never met a more focused operative, even if he did tend toward the cowboy in his behavior. He would never have suspected that Mercer would have thrown away so much for a woman he had known for such a short time. Yet here he was, clearly gone, and the woman with him.

At first, Jai covered for Mercer with the company, but there were only so many lies he could tell. There was no new information, nothing he could pass on. Jai was Mercer's handler, but right now he wasn't handling a damn thing except of mountain of lies, half-truths, and misdirection. Jai wasn't a company man for nothing, though; he could investigate, he could hunt, he could lie. He could find fucking Ben Mercer, and he would.

A cabana in Unawatuna. God, how trite, how clichéd: Mercer had run off to a cabana on the shore with a hot blond and somehow, this was a good enough excuse for him to forget every damn thing he had ever learned at the farm. Because he couldn't believe that Mercer had lowered himself enough to tell the woman the truth, Jai watched and waited, hoping for a moment where he could actually get Mercer alone. There was no point in blowing whatever might be left of his cover.

When it started to rain, torrential, sweeping bursts of water pouring from the clouds, Jai figured there was no time like the present. He walked out to the beach in front of their cabana, turning his back to them, and staring out at the crashing waves. He knew Mercer had seen him. Mercer could always be counted on to know who was around him at any point time. Professional paranoia was just another survival skill for deep cover agents.

Mercer must have made some excuse for why he was walking out into the storm, something that convinced the woman to stay inside, where it was dry. Jai could see her silhouetted against the candlelight. It was a good look for her; he couldn't blame Mercer for the way his eyes kept straying back, to the light, to the woman, to whatever it was that she was to him that made him throw everything else away.

"I can't hide your forever," Jai said. He might have been yelling. He would give himself the excuse of the fierceness of the rain. It certainly wasn't because he was the kind of handler who would become emotionally involved with his operatives. Mercer was a job, nothing more. Jai was only here now because it was his job on the line, his reputation, and his father that he would have to answer to, even after everything else was done.

"I never asked you to."

"No one knows you've gone off grid. You can still come back."

"Can I?"

"She can't possibly be worth this. You don't even know her. She for sure doesn't know you. It's been three weeks. No one's world changes in three weeks."

"You know, you always sounds so damn sure, Jai. So much like your father. But at the end of the day, you really don't know a damn thing."

"You have to leave her. Or at least get back to doing your job while you're doing her."

"Crude, Jai." Mercer's smile was ice-edged and his eyes were hard, but he wasn't moving and Jai wasn't feeling like apologizing.

"What's your plan here, Ben? Lying to her forever? Whatever you think you have here with her, you can't keep it. Just leave her, while the leaving is good."

Mercer looked back at the cabana. The woman was a gilt-edged shadow against the light, but even Jai could tell she was searching out Mercer. There wouldn't be much more time to talk. If Mercer had stayed with her for three weeks, she wasn't stupid. He was smart, and he valued intelligence in the people he surrounded himself with. She would come out soon, and all the subterfuge in the world might be for nothing.

Mercer didn't look at Jai when he spoke, but Jai knew the words were for him. "Your wish is my command."

It would be slightly over two years before Jai saw Mercer again, but it would be less time before he saw Annie.


	2. It Was Jai's Idea to Recruit Annie

**It Was Jai's Idea to Recruit Annie**

"We need to find the girl. Annie Walker. She was the start of all of this, and he left without her. We can use her to lure him back."

"It was three weeks." Arthur's voice was neutral, giving nothing away, but Jai would expect nothing less from someone of Arthur Campbell's standing. Arthur was clearly in charge of Jai's debriefing, the highest ranked of all the personnel clustered around him. Henry Wilcox wasn't there, not in person, but Jai had no doubt that his father was listening from somewhere. Story of his life, really: Henry being the elusive spider at the edges of the web around Jai. Jai hardly ever saw the man, and yet, he was always there.

Arthur was neutral, but Jai thought he could detect the faintest hint of curiosity, the smallest space where he could push. "It must have been an impressive three weeks for him, then. I'm telling you, she's at the heart of this. We find her, we find Ben Mercer."

"He left her."

"Because I made him. Look, there's something there. Something that she started, that maybe she didn't even know she started. But we can use that." Jai looked at Arthur, just at Arthur, and tried his last card. Letting his smile turn just the smallest bit cocky, because he knew what bosses looked for in their operatives, Jai added, "You do want him back, don't you?"

Arthur's look was calculating. "Do it."

Jai was good at research. It was what he had done before going into the field, research and lots of it. And everyone had records; everyone left a trail behind them, traces in the sand. He could find her. He had a name; he could remember the face. He was pretty sure that everyone could remember her face. He could find her again.

Annie Walker. She was a grad student at Georgetown University. Her undergrad transcripts were astonishing, her language skills called "extraordinary." Before the summer break, she had been active in student activities of all kinds, a bright young go-getter. After the break was a different story. She was still excelling in all her classes, still wowing her professors on a regular basis, but it sounded like some of the spring had gone out of her step. Jai could have told anyone who asked that it was the lingering side effects of a broken heart, but actually, the CIA wasn't much for answering other people's questions. They just wanted answers of their own.

Top level language skills, no real attachment to anyone but family, and a military background: Annie Walker was ripe for recruiting. The only sour note was that it even Jai didn't think he would be the right person to recruit her. No, she would respond best to another woman, another linguist, someone who could talk to her about the realities of being a woman in the CIA, and about how she could best use her abilities to serve her country. Ben Mercer, of course, would never be mentioned or even suggested, especially as they all hoped his cover had maintained intact. Her life with the agency would start off in a cloud of subterfuge. It seemed fitting somehow.

"Annie Walker," Jai mused aloud, sending his report off to Arthur, "Welcome aboard."


	3. He Actually Misses Ben Mercer

**He Actually Misses Ben Mercer**

They weren't friends. Jai sometimes felt like, in his relentless climb to be everything his father wanted him to be, that he couldn't afford the luxury of friends. He had acquaintances, allies, compatriots, temporary harbors against the storm, but he didn't have friends. He liked to tell himself that it wasn't him. It was how his father raised him. It was the name. People heard the name and saw his father when they looked at Jai. The fact that he looked nothing like his father, would not even have been recognizable as Henry Wilcox's son if it weren't for the name, an anchor that both dragged him down and set him up, didn't matter to the others at the agency. There was no one he met who didn't either view him as a potential enemy due to the sins of his father, or a way up the ladder.

And then there was Ben Mercer. He had just fixed Jai with a long stare, and asked, straight out if Jai was anything like his father. His face drawn into his usual mask of lies, Jai had looked right back and Mercer and said, "I'm my own man." Mercer's lips quirked up in a quick, half-smile, and Jai decided to believe that this meant Mercer trusted him.

So there was that, the fact they could tell when the other one lied and then choose to ignore it, if the lie was unimportant enough. That was kind of like friendship, or at least as close to friendship that Jai felt like he needed. Then there was the nature of the job, the way that it was just the two of them against the world in some small corner of nowhere. Adversity, after all, bred such close bonds between people; it was no wonder, really, that some type of friendship would form between the two of them.

But of course, it couldn't really be a friendship, because Jai was his father's son, and emotional attachments just distracted from the big picture. And of course, the only reason why Jai had any sort of a reaction to Mercer's going rogue was because it had left an indelible stain on Jai's record, not because he felt betrayed by a friend.

But going out to the bars and pubs in whatever city he was posted in was somehow never quite the same as it was in Sri Lanka, sitting in a dark corner of a dark bar, and drinking with Ben Mercer.

Jai was never making that mistake again.


	4. He was sent to watch Annie

**He was sent to watch Annie, but it wasn't like what it looked like.**

Even if Jai had never attended a single class on asset protocol during his entire time on the Farm, he would have known better than to try to use lust or, god forbid, love to flip an asset. There was, after all, his parents' own horrible example. His mother, Jai knew, had cared deeply about his father once upon a time, and his father… well, clearly hadn't been totally adverse to the idea. Whatever connection had been there in the beginning between them, it was lost during the intervening years of normalcy and Wilcox version of domesticity. Familiarity leads to contempt, after all, and that's exactly how his parents wound up. Watching an asset was one thing, using whatever tricks of the trade he had to turn them, that was the job. But seduction, that old staple of spy movies, was nothing but a bad idea.

All of this meant that, when Arthur Campbell sent Jai to the DPD to watch over Annie as she got hung out as attractive bait for Ben Mercer, Jai had already decided he would be polite, professional, attentive, and dispassionate. He needed to keep in mind the big picture, the final outcome of the mission. Ben Mercer was the one the agency wanted, preferably before he could do irreparable damage to their operations all over the world. Annie Walker… Well, in his father's words, she was just collateral, the currency needed to get the job done. And while Jai was unwavering in his decision not to be his father, not so cold, or so hard, or so hated, he was still planning a stellar career path, one where he rose just as high as his father had, but as a better man. Seducing tender young agents, no matter how pretty, was not the way to get to that goal. Bringing in Mercer would clean up his record, and really, all most of the new kids on the block wanted was someone they could turn to in times of confusion. Jai could be that person and not put his reputation in even the possibility of harm's way.

When he got to the DPD, it was to find out that Annie already had a self-appointed protector in Joan's golden boy, Anderson and that, while Annie still had a smile that could stun a man at 50 paces, she mostly shared it with Anderson. Fine then. Even if Jai hadn't known Auggie Anderson for years, Anderson's reputation preceded him. Anderson could be the one focused on seducing Annie, if that was his goal (although, really, this was the longest play Jai had ever seen Anderson make and it wasn't as if the man had lost his touch; Annie was on his arm every day). While Auggie worked whatever his plan was, Jai would be the friend, the guy she could go to for knowledge that Anderson maybe wouldn't share. Annie clearly wanted to go places in the agency. Well, Jai had already been to those places and he could help her get where she wanted to go. They could climb up the ladder together, if that was what it took to get Mercer back in from the cold.

Seduction was a joke, and one-night stands were just that. Anyone whose loyalty could be brought through something as tawdry as sex, well, Jai didn't want what she had to offer anyway. It was too easy, too unpredictable, too messy a tool for someone as savvy as Jai. No, there were better ways to bind Annie to him, to make him the man she came to. Sex was nothing but muscles and heat. He could provide her with something far more tangible and lasting.

Which is why, when Annie drifted over to his table at Allen's, where he watched his father drink while wishing he was a thousand miles away, he pushed a chair out for her and invited her into their inner circle. From across the bar, he could see Anderson's face turned in his direction, a brief look of disapproval on his face before he turned back to the beautiful brunette who had taken Annie's place at their table. Jai leveled a wasted smile in Anderson's direction. Power and prestige: it was all anyone really wanted.


	5. He Knows What Ben Saw in Her

**He Knows What Ben Saw in Her.**

The problem, Jai thought, was that, really, Mercer had pretty stunning taste in women. The parade of beautiful blonds he had managed to find in Sri Lanka should have given that away, but clearly, Jai hadn't been considering Mercer's extracurricular activities as closely as he should have been. And even with those blonds as the model, Annie Walker was something else entirely. That smile, it really could take a man's breath away if he let it. It was more than that, though. It was her determination, her drive to succeed, and to not leave anyone hanging that truly took his breath away. She was not content with the easy, or the too easily explained or rationalized. She wanted her own answers to everything, and she had the brains to find them. She was smart, book smart and people smart. He thought maybe Mercer had been her only misstep, and it was clearly one she regretted. If she had a flaw, it was that she was too open, a clear liability for someone hoping for clandestine work. Though, even with that, her missions were successful more often than not, even if her methods were occasionally unorthodox.

When she asked him to dinner, he agreed without thinking. This was the goal, to make him the man she turned to, and he had reason enough to think she would make no advances—Mercer's abandonment was clearly still an open wound, even after all this time. There could be no flaws in that plan; there were never flaws in Jai's plans. He had, after all, learned from the best and the worst how to do things right. But he walked her to her door after dinner, and made excuses before she had to about why they weren't kissing, and he found himself wishing he could be more honest. He wanted to tell her that Mercer wasn't worth this, wasn't worth years of wondering where he went while she stayed trapped in place, a fly in a web with edges she couldn't even see. He was angry at Mercer for making her the focal point of his sudden decision to run reckless around the world like a comic book vigilant, angry at himself for pointing her out as the most obvious lure, and angry at Arthur for agreeing to a plan that put her in harm's way. The worst was the way he knew feeling this way served no logical purpose, the way it scraped at the edges of his focus, distracting him for the end game.

It was when he was looking through her scrap book, piecing through a history that she thought was private even as it was discussed at the highest levels of the government, that he realized he wished he could stop this train he had sent rolling. If he had known her at all, he didn't think he would have done this, put her in harm's way, willfully force her past to collide with her present. It was unkind, and he realized that, for the first time, that actually mattered to him. Annie wasn't just a small but important piece in a larger puzzle, not just a pawn for him to manipulate as he saw fit. She was Annie, complex and real, complete with family and friends. He had never chosen to look beyond his mission parameters before, and he was not enjoying it now, but he found he couldn't look away. Whatever game Mercer was playing with the company, it was coming to a head, and Annie was going to be front and center of the fireworks. Regret was not emotion that Jai had a great deal of familiarity with, but he thought that was what he felt now, looking at Annie's carefully preserved photos of Ben, the liar she somehow couldn't quite shake.

The worst was playing her as if she were making him a better man. It was flattering to her, and it drew her back to him again and again, even in the face of Auggie's disapproval, but he hated it more every day. Which he thought maybe meant she really was making him want to be a better man, only in ways so much deeper than the surface. Jai was raised on the devil's math, taught manipulation and power plays from a master, and it had taken him years to even think to question the teachings of his childhood. He didn't want to be misunderstood; he fully grasped the value of expediency, but Annie was causing him to wonder if maybe his big picture lacked details. To wonder whether those details were, in fact, the most important part of the picture.

Jai was beginning to think he owed Ben Mercer an apology. When his father had said that only money or love were strong enough to draw a career operative away from the agency, he had scoffed. But now, he had barely the most superficial of connections with Annie, and already, her idealism was distracting him from what was necessary to achieve his goals. What would it have been like to fall asleep to that passion, and wake up to that smile? What would a man do to feel like he was worthy of that?

Soon now, Jai thought, Mercer would come close enough into Annie's orbit for the company to bring him back in. And at that point, maybe there would be some way for Jai to start again, or at least move forward cleanly, to earn those smiles honestly instead of through subterfuge and calculation.

He thought maybe she was worth it.


End file.
